we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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