Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
