I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
