thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
