Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you win again, gameday.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
