So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
plz talk dirty to me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
