I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
