Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
