she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
