How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
