I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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