Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
