just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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