I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
