This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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