You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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