idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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