we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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