I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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