Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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