i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
