He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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