I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
