btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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