i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
