i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
