butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Umm I'm too high to move.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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