Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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