I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the day after is always just damage control
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
