DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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