My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
