dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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