its not stalking. its research.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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