I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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