3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
