Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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