Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
