so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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