Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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