dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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