can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
