but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
