Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
