i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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