She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
