why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
