Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
