Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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