im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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