D3 body, D1 cock
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My penis needs a shock collar
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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